Santa Came !?

Merry Christmas to you! Today was the last class at school and the last exam in this semester finally over! Yay!
And today we have two guests to cheer our home, young charming little lady of my daughter's classmate and her wise and hardworking mom. We had a tiny little dinner party. I cooked garlic and ginger marinated grilled chicken wings. I simply did't do much work besides house cleaning so I bought assorted Sushi and sponge cake to decolate with fresh cream and fruits. I just wanted to let the kids decolate to have fun! I missed taking photos! because...I was busy chatting with my friend. Sometimes working moms need to chill out and release our stress, yes surely we need. The more I know the person, the more interesting and attractive sides of the person I discover. I certainly had good time.
My dauther E said" I had the best Christmas ever! Because my friend visited me and play together". It's so right to me and this event may brought us the true meaning of Christmas(brought peaceful feeling after emotional turmoil with family loss) rather than much more commercializing and glittering Christmas.
E got a beautiful big popup book from Santa this morning. Santa cares that E might be leftoutin her class if Santa did not come on the night before Christmas(24th)because kids surely breaking the day with talking about present they found this morning.
To my understanding Santa comes on the 25th night, Christmas day, and keep the box under the tree and open it on the 26th. That's why we call 26th as "Boxing day", am I right about it ? But it seems the majority except E planned to have the present on the 24th night. So...our Santa has come one day earlier than I expected. E asked Santa for Nintendo DS(computer game) and She drew picture and words for Santa on a piece of paper. But this morning E found the book besides her pillow and screamed
" Santa knew what I want! I wanted to buy this book in London this spring but the bookshop did not have any copie. I am so Happy!"
Santa is so happy too and relaxed now! But my heart was pounding when E was asking me a question while having breakfast, What about kids in Afganistan and Iraq ? Did they get any present? Did Santa come to them?" I lost words for a while and said " The kids there might not have chance to have meal like us peacefully. They may always feel scared of bombing. Do you understand?" Then, we had silence for a while and E's eyes told that she was thinking something. I hope she did and I hope she will realize and found the happiness in people by doing something for others not buying stuff to get selfsatisfuction.
Merry Christmas to all and peace to be with you. Maggie

Gone...

In-law-mom has just gone without saying anything.
Everyone around her puzzled and felt emptyness needless to say.
Life is hard sometimes.
All the efforts we made seems so useless to me.
But...
I know Life can be easy sometimes someday.
I should keep walking the way ... the way to be a nurse.
The nurse who should learn and the experiences I have and
apply them to clinical practice. That's the way should be...

Wanna straght A !

Today Biochemistry exam paper was returned. This time I was not sure if I pass or not.
I was so lucky I passed but this time I was not take A. Never mind! I will study harder!

Start over!

The class has started with an exam.
This is imcomprehensible biochemistry. Till the end of the class, I comprehend none of the words. Can you believe this? I am a Japanese and Japanese is my first language and the class was conducted by sololy in Japanese. But the instructor just read the textbook aloud. It seems like we are sitting for a corresponding course, even I asked for some other book for reference the instructor told that the textbook is the best book ever. "Huh?" Since then, I spent half of the summer vacation to follow and study a guide book with simple explanations. But I do not think I learned a lot. Some of my classmates told me that if this is a private short qualification course, many of the students would ask for refunds. I think it is true. Besides, our course is four year course and the national exam is still 2 and half year away and the tuition is only USD 150 per month. Probably we can not ask too much. But I still feel so unfair. Other nursing students in Japan may have better instructors and have better marks and we all will sit for the same national exam. Wow, I started with complaint. I should be more positive!

BasicPathlogy for my reference

Thease are some of the subjects I studied in Pathology.Just for my reference only.
Since I study nursing in Japanse I jot down English for my future reference.
Describe following status:
Iatrogenic disease,
pathogenic organism
classification of diseases
Gout
Jaundice(hemolytic, obstructive,hepatic)
dialysis
Causative disease of pleural effusion(cardiac failure,carcinomatous and tuberculous pleurisy)
Pulmonary embolism(PE)
IHD ischemic heart disease
Primary healing
Metastasis(hematogenous,lymphogenous ,disseminated )
Tumor diagnosis
Cancer treatment
Cancer with poor prognosis
Biological Carninogenic factors
Cachexia
Hashimoto disease
Causative disease of ascites
Melena
Hematemesis
Diagnosis of colon cancer
Virchow metastasi
Causative disease of DIC
Diagnosis of fatty liver
Pulmonary edema
Adenocarcinoma
Squamous cell carcinoma
Schnitzler metastasis
Knuken berg tumor
Shock classifications(Hemorrhagic /Cardiogenic/Endotoxic/Anaphylactic shock)

Pathology exam

Yesterday I sat for Pathology exam. I feel relief to finish it. But one more exam is comming up next week. Geriatric nursing theory. I am a kind of person to write to momorize. But my wrists are painful with tendovaginitis especilly under the rainy weather. Meteological agency announced Metropolitan area are in the rainy front. It means the rainy season has started and my hands are aching for a month. Funny, I now can understand the patients feelings or the eldery complain about their arthritis pain. My joints are aching, too, in wet season. The best treatment is not use hands. But how can I do without using hands!?
Anyway...

Mom's Friend

Today my friend told me that she and her family will move to the new house. She is my neighbor and our children get along well and often they play together. My little E follow the neighbor kid as if they are sisters. They both are the only kid to the families. As for me, it is still hard for me to find the good friend and create close bond among moms but my neighbor is very open-minded, honest and friendly. Beside, we both used to work in travel industry and have so much in common. We share the similar sense of value as well. We are in the same age range.She is the rare person I can open up my heart to talk about and she has always good listenership. It was a little sad to hear that the whole family will move to another town for good. But I am happy for her,too. But on the other side, I will miss her for sure to share good laughter and our dream holidays. In Japanese one proverb says, " One chance, one meeting" or"Treasure every encounter, for it will never recur." This shows my feeling at the moment. How short life is! Yes, I should never take it for granted. Thanks to my friend and share such good and bad times. All the best for her!

My health promotion

Recently I feel I gained weight. Actually I did. I am stressed out and I ate.
This week I tried new program called "Zumba". I watched the TV commercial of the "Zumba" video but I am not the person to follow the VTR. I am live music type. I get excited and I love myself most while I am exercising because I feel I have my own time to enjoy myself and I am able to keep the high self respect there.
Anyway, Zumba is more like Latin Aerobics class and much faster the movements but I was OK to follow the class. I had a good time for sure. I should do more exercise rather than just being still and thinking something negative. I can be more positive and feel better in this way!

Mask !Panic buying!?

These days I spent quite a bit of time to do several homework. The pharmacology teacher gave us English to Japanese translation of one of WHO website regarding Swine flu. I enjoys doing it. As you know, Japan has over 200 patients. It seems slowing down the epidemic in Japan. Believe or not, there is no disposable masks on the shelves in stores. Some of my friends working in medical fields are suffering, because no more stock even in hospitals.Luckily, I bought some this spring while pollenosis or hey fever season to reduce allergic reactions. I even bought some boxes from my daughter's school. This phenomena reminds me of the time of " Oil shock" in 70's. I was only four or five years old then, I lined up que for a supermarket cashier to buy some toilet rolls and packets of sugar. That time some rumors like " No more toilet rolls on the shelves!" made us panic buying. This mask incident seems so much alike to me. Maybe I am wrong. But funny I rarely see passengers on commuter trains wear masks. Hummm.....

Uplifting

The capping ceremony has just finished. We sang "Nightingale song" and the "Nightingale pledge" standing with a lamp on hand. Somehow I felt OK in the day. But thesedays my feeling is a little sagging. Just feel so dry on anything. I want to feel much more happy in any sense but seems a bit tough for me. Strange feeling...seems helpless on my feeling. I hoped I may feel better by writing in English because when I speak in English I feel so free and free from the stress to follow the same as others like what they expect me to be a Japanese like Japanese.
Lord, show me the way how to make myself happier. I feel so useless in myself. I need help in somehow. Someone who can really share my deep down... like you. I thought I can feel happy by giving but sometimes it does not work. What I can do is...kneele down myself before you and just listen till you give me a word. Somewhat uplifting!

London tastes good!?

We only stayed London for 4 days. Since we had hard time adjusting our body to the local time, we skipped several meals. Till this trip, I always had hard time to find good food, but this time was a bit different. My friends introduced some good food places. My friend took me to a "Waffle house", I happyliy finished a whole plate with banana and chocolate and E ate a plain fully. The place was 45 mins drive from central London and facing to the beautiful park. It was sunny day! So fortunate!
I've never experienced sunny days in London, that was my first luck I ever had there.E even enjoyed picking flowers.
E made friends with a ballet student from Japan, and she took us to a nice pub where serves good Italian food. I should stop talking about food. Should change to nursing!

Delicacy in Hong Kong

Yum!Yum! Yummy!
I wanted to buy more Jenny bakery's Cookies especially Pineapple cakes. The last day in Hong Kong, we woke up so late and rushed into the Bakery. Luckily we were able to buy pineapple cakes. This is so good! E and I could not wait to open the can at home, so I opened it on board on the way back. We almost finished it and left only 3 pcs. I should have bought more. The cake does not last more than a week, so the bakery does not bake much. Next time I want to buy more. Even a can of "8 mix" with nuts cookies was tasty.
I compared the egg tart from a shop in New territory and famous Tai Chong Bakery.
Tai Chong is so good. As Chris Patten (the last HK Governor) said " the best egg tart ever in Hong Kong". Though we stayed very near to the milk pudding shop where I was dying to go, not much time to go there. I dare not to leave E in the room to go there after she fell in a sleep. But we enjoyed every food. E enjoyed Yam cha or Dim sum with her friend. I enjoy food with good companies better than good food itself.
Again, Thanks you all to my friends to help me there.

Travel or trouble?

Looking back Hong Kong London trip, My daughter E and I spent 6 days flying out of 10 days. I really wanted to spend the time with my friends and their kids. We both enjoyed every moment. Thanks to my frends, to feed my E, because E seemed lost appetite once the place changed. She ate when she felt secure and safe with kids in the same age range. Withour my friends help, we ended up with very bad shape in London. Luckily, E did not get sick throughout the trip.
At my friend's wedding registry, E did not behaive herself and I could not control her. She certainly felt uneasiness and insecured at her first place, besides I was a witness and an makeshift interpretor throughout the day. E pushed me to keep her seat right next to the bride where I supposed to sit. The supervisor suggested me to take that seat but E was so stubburn and kept her seat right next to the bride. When it came to the signing as the witness, again E took my seat of the desk I supposed to sit. I felt so embarrased. But the people in the room was so generous to us and kept smiling warmly. Instead of my feeling, my best friend appreciated E. E is just 5 years but a little girl can break the ice to start the conversation among the strangers or first time in-law meeting. Lord, thank you for helping me!

Scary!

Back to school life, this week was a bit tough for me. Struggling with jet lag, facing to quiz and practical session in the same day. Handling a syringe and needle seems real nurse's job to me, but in real life I was so frightened to sting even grapefruit skin.
Without license, not supposed to sting a real skin, but even for grapefruit, my hand was trembling with fear when I tried an intramuscular injection. My mind was full of ifs....
If I sting nerves or wrong spot,... I really need to study hard anatomy again! I played hard last 10days! It's time for studying! Yes!

Starting hectic life!

Red Cross First Aid and CPR class

Today I attended for Red Cross CPR and AED class. This is practical. For CPR, I used to learn 15 to 1(Compression to blow)ten years ago, but now this ratio has been changed, 30 to 2. When I was working for a Japanese airline as an interpretor few years back,somebody pointed out this changes.
However, in mind old knowledge hampers me. I do need to revise these information time to time. Though this class is scheduled for students to attend, but the results are not affected to the study at all. But it's always nice to know and practice skills to apply properly for any chance. Now time to sleep. Day 2 is coming!

Banana Yogurt cake

When my mood sagged, the best remedy is a baking cake. I added yogurt instead of sour cream. I love sour cream but after I tried yogurt, yogurt works similar to sour cream. Taste OK and the cake texture did not spoiled. My family enjoyed eating this for this morning for breakfast.To tell you the truth, I was just running out of the cream, so I used yogurt instead. Try and enjoy it!
Ingredients
Butter (Unsalted) 60g
Yogurt 1 cup
Sugar 80g
Egg 2
Flour 200g
Baking powder 1 teaspoon
Baking soda 1 teaspoon
Sold 2/3 teaspoon
2 bunches of banana
8 Dried apricots or 60g of raisin

1. Mix flour,Baking powder,soda and salt.
2. Cut an apricot for 4 pieces. Mash Bananas with folk.
3. Mix Butter in a bowl till it gets white color.
4. Add yogurt and sugar in to the bowl and mix.
5. Beat eggs and add them in to the bowl.
6. Shift mixed flour and powders and add it to the bowl.
7. Add apricots and banana.
8. Bake it in 180 Centigrade over for 30-40 mins.

Jabberwocky or incomprehensible!

Today I had a very first class of biochemistry. I totally lost. What the instructor told was incomprehensible. Even it was conducted by my mother language, Japanese! Oh! another hard time has come like anatomy and physiology. New torture began! I took chemistry class when I was in high school but my grade was so bad. I remember that the teacher was nice and he was writing a thesis for PhD. while he was teaching. I only remember his philosophy of life but not the chemical formula. Yes, Sir !I have to study now!

Birthday

Our family celebrated my daughter's grandmother's birthday yesterday. We visited her house and just warmed up the house a bit with a flower bouquet.She was quiet and did not comment much for anything. She used to be a " Super douper housemaker,wife and ideal mom for two sons.( I envy my husband has a mom to read bed time stories!) Now she has bipolar disorder and suffered for more than 6 yrs. Once I thought she has the empty-nest syndrome after her husband collapsed in cerebral infarction. But I was informed that she had the same illness twenty yrs ago. I used to feel I was so useless and helpless when I confronted her and her illness. Even now I feel the same. I believe the best cure would be the most significant person can be closer to her. But he had gone already and the substitute will be my hubby. I did not mean to complain about him, but I often lost myself how to communicate with him to send my message across. Recently I found my hubby D greatly affected his feelings especially after talking with his mom on the phone. I really do not know how much medicines help her. Being alone in the house with no noise, even I will be a bit down in that situation, too. When my own mom losts his son( my only bro), she was so down and went crazy for a short time. It was only natural, even we did not know Crisis theory and models. My mom was lucky she has a job, sincere friends who had shoulders to cry on and was able to look at her objectively. But my in-law's case, there's only so much I can do. Lord, please help me. Give us a hope!

Something to look forward to!

Somehow the final exam in this term has ended ! Yeah! I will have nearly 2 wk spring holiday virtually no study at school. I spent most of my time at school to brush up my technical skills during summer vacation. I never had a feeling so free so far. Probably any nursing students in the world feel the same. And even during the nursing practice at hospital, seems none of us had enough sleep and I was not the exception. This October I will have 3 week on line practice at a hospital. I am so afraid that I can continue with not enough sleep for 3 weeks. I better not think about anything like this it's useless.
Right now my best mind shifting is thinking of going to London to attend my best friend's marriage registry(not wedding!) via Hong Kong. I will take my daughter with me. While staying Hong Kong, I am planning to see my ex-colleagues whose have children there.
Another thing is I want to try Chinese sweet with good reputation among the local.
I can not wait to go! Before that, I have to take care of my daughter and myself since the flu restarts prevailing recently.

One after another

It's been nearly two months since last time I posted here.
January, I had clinical practicum,then submitted reports. Then term end exam lasted till today. I learned a lot in the hospital. Just happened to have many opportunities to care for the patient. Taking Vital signs and using Pulseoximeter to check SPO2 etc. My patience was old and had hypostatic pneumonia,cellulitis,rheumatism,and NBM.I was so scared to stretch the paticent's bent arm to take BP because of the pain complaint.The last day I had changed dipers all in the morning three times. From that morning finally the patient had bowel movement stared and had diarrhea with blood after 14days of no movement. The patience was lonely, skinny, bony person. What I was able to do was just listen. When I touched him in every occasion, I did it with tender loving feeling towards the patient. Seemed lonely person had rare visitors.
The patient conditions changed everyday and the last day was the worst conditions with low oxygen level( applied O2) with high fever. I just felt so attached. Even at home while writing care plan, I could not help thinking of.
What I learned there most is, I now have confident that the way I chose in last year to be a nurse was correct and I am in a right path. I love patients. I love to learn more to help patients professionally.

3 month to go!

This week class has started with microbiology test.
During winter holidays I hardly had time for myself to concentrate on my study.
New year days are supposed to be busy for housewives here. I am not the exception.
I sometimes feel that I can not cope with my aging. I feel fatigue and joints are aching. Besides I have been suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome, and ganglion pushing my left palm nerve for more than 5 years. Since I gave birth to my daughter the pain started and it never cease. The nursing plan for a virtual patient report suppose to be handwritten but my hands could not stand with hardwork of housechores and homework, I finally decided to use PC and type it.
Anyway...
We will have group presentation of the plan before we go to the clinical practicum in two weeks time. I was selected as a groupleader without my consent, and I don't like it. I am not the leader type. I am just older than my group leader and it does not mean I can act as a leader. I know this is a challenge. Lord, please help me.

Osechi or New Year dishes

Today is the new year day. Our family supposed to be mouning this new year according to the tradition but noone ever cares such tradition within us. We'd rather get together to warm the house especially for the in-law-mom who's been weary lately.
I brought some home made new year dishes. But seemed all men (my husband & his brother) did not care about traditional food. Like any man, they love reading papers?
We've got some gift from American Japanese friend of belated in-law-dad,Ted.
I like Ted and it was a great loss to everybody in our family and friends.
Ted worked for an American companes(incl. U.S. army) for a long time and spoke beatiful English and a hardworking engineer. He loved Jazz so we sent him with Jazz playing while the ceremony. (This was also not traditional way to send someone off).He was so lovable, warm and had a sense of humor always. He gave me a chance to get into the nursing world. The last 5yrs with him Ted taught me a lot to think about my life and carrer in different prospects as I had before.
I am so grateful to get involoved with him and his family to lead me to nursing path.